Articles by Julie Ward

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Autobiographical Theatre in Argentina

La Carpintería Teatro

Friday night. Lola Arias’ Mi vida después (My Life After). La Carpintería Teatro, Buenos Aires. A group of grandmotherly women in fur coats and heavy perfume claims the first rows. The stage manager’s request for silenced cell phones is met with a loud “No!” from a woman with a wrinkled face and sleek, black hair, part of the front-row contingent. The lights dim and another of her party cries, in English, “Silence!” provoking giggles and shushes. From the back comes a censorious, “Por favor,” to which one of the dowagers replies, stage-whispering, “¡Es en serio!” Finally, clothing begins raining onto the stage, and the show begins.

Mi vida después debuted in 2009 and has made festival rounds as well as having runs at two different theatres since then. In the play, six actors, one joined by his young son, wear their parents’ clothing, display and interpret photographs of their families and use other objects (books written by an actor’s father, cassette recordings of another’s voice, a live turtle, etc.) to evoke the stories of their parents’ lives. Their parents include an ex-priest, revolutionary militants, a newscaster, an automobile journalist, bank clerks, a secret policeman — all of whom lived during, if not through, Argentina’s military dictatorship. The play, which features professional actors and their real-life stories, is a thought-provoking study of the limits of the self, authority and authorship, and the role of theatre in society.

The characters introduce themselves by describing the circumstances of their births. Blas Arrese Igor, for example, born September 8, 1975, declares: “La nave Viking despega hacia Marte y en la ciudad de La Plata, nazco yo. Mi padre había sido cura y decía que no era parte de ningún partido político salvo el de Dios.”(The spaceship Viking blasts off for Mars, and in the city of La Plata, I am born. My father had been a priest, and he said that he belonged to no party save that of God.) Besides playing themselves, each actor, at some point during the play, embodies his or her parent, whether it be through trying on their clothes, reading their letters aloud or physically going through the motions peculiar to that parent. Carla Crespo leads her fellow actors in exercises her father might have participated in as a sergeant in the People´s Revolutionary Party; Liz Casullo wears her mother’s jacket and reports news from the 1970s, just as her mother did as a newscaster for “Telenoche.” The play must be considered autobiographical, as the actors are, for the most part, playing themselves and telling their stories from their own perspectives. However, this crossover into the realm of their parents’ life stories questions and blurs the limits between the self — the actors— and the Other — their parents.

One particularly interesting moment in the play is when Vanina Falco tells of how her adult brother discovered he was not actually her biological brother. Rather, he had been born in a secret detention camp to imprisoned parents and was subsequently stolen and raised by Falco’s parents. He has taken on his birth name, Juan Cabandié, and Falco’s father has been tried for the crime and found guilty. Vanina Falco wanted to participate in the case against her estranged father and was initially barred from doing so by a law prohibiting testifying against an ancestor. However, this ruling was appealed and overturned, due to the fact that Vanina Falco has effectively no relationship with her father. Part of the evidence contributing to this legal decision was the fact that she has made public her family experiences through her participation in the play.

The play’s text has evolved as this court case has developed. In Mi vida después, Falco sits on a sofa, and the other actors gather round, going through legal documents as she tells the story. She explains that she was the first person in Argentina to be allowed to testify against a parent and that part of the reasoning was that she discusses the case in a play. This moment is powerful for its dizzying circularity — in the theatrical performance that affected the court case, the actor discusses the court case that was affected by the theatrical performance… The spectator is thrown into the position of legal judge as well as being forced into acute awareness of the theatricality of autobiography, the performance that is any life story. The lines between theatrical testimony and legal testimony are blurred, and the frontier between performance and reality is subverted altogether.

The evolution of the play, whose constant dramaturgy is undertaken these days by Sofia Medici, is what allows for such surreal moments. Mi vida después is not a static work, but rather a living exposition of life stories in progress. The selves portrayed are fluid, ranging between parent(s) and child, and the play itself adapts to the actors’ changing reality. Just as the lines between self and Other are blurred in the play, and lines between legal and theatrical testimony are entangled, lines between autobiographical narrator and author are also blurred. Even though the actors play themselves, speak in the first person and tell true stories from their own lives, they are not considered the authors of this piece. Lola Arias’ work interviewing the actors and then compiling, selecting, editing and arranging their stories gives her authorship and authority over the actors’ autobiographies. This blurring of so many lines invites the viewer to question autobiography as a genre, highlighting the impossibility of setting the self in type.

At the end of the play that Friday night last June, one of the previously rambunctious ladies in the front row turned to her friend, who was seated in front of me, and declared more than asked: “A vos no te gustó por la política.” (You didn’t like it because of the politics.) The confirmation was unnecessary, but her friend nodded in agreement anyway. To my thinking, what disquiets the viewer of Mi vida después much more than any political aversion is the way the play pulls back the curtain on the workings of autobiography and dares to question the very idea of the self.

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Hinchada

Hinchar, according to the Royal Spanish Academy’s dictionary, means to increase the volume of an object or body by filling it with air or some other thing. By scanning down to the fifth definition, though, one learns that in Argentina and Uruguay hinchar means to support a sports team with enthusiasm. Entusiasmo might be an understatement. Passion, fervor, frenzy—any word that brings to mind religious zeal tinged with bloodlust gets a little closer to the idea.

I like my fair share of soccer, but can’t claim fandom of any South American team in particular (besides the Uruguayan national selection, which stole my heart during the last World Cup). When I found out that the Buenos Aires institution River Plate was in danger of demotion to the second league after a deciding game with Belgrano, I wanted to cheer for the underdog—the only problem was, I didn’t know which team was worse off. Belgrano was in the second division and stood to rise, but River’s best players had been being sold off to Europe for so long that they were lean to the point of haggard. I decided to go see the game in a pizza place and make up my mind there.

A pizza deliveryman on rollerblades checks the score between runs

The pizzeria filled up as the game began, and my friend Ashley and I filled up on beer and delicious fugazzetta—a pizza consisting entirely of mozzarella, caramelized onion, and deep dish crust. We invited a kid who had only found standing room to join us. Belgrano scored their first goal and the restaurant’s atmosphere seemed to disappear as the River hinchada in the joint sucked in a deep breath and held it in with their disappointed rage. The kid at our table shyly asked us where we were from and who we rooted for. Ashley, who loves Buenos Aires deeply, immediately answered, “River.” I shrugged my shoulders. The kid showed us a photo on his cell phone of himself waving a Belgrano flag in a stadium. He grinned conspiratorially and put away the phone.

The game ended as most knew it would with River demoted and video of police officers hosing down fans who didn’t exit the stadium in a timely enough matter and, later in the evening, riots that left several people injured.

The next day I went for a wander and found the aftermath of the contest painted on the city walls. In Caminito, a touristic street in La Boca, home to River’s rival Boca Juniors, industrious fans had already left their tribute painted on a wall.

“The myth is broken…only the greatest remains.—Boca fans.”

Meanwhile, in a less artistic but more raw graffiti reaction, River fans threatened Belgrano with death.

“You don’t mess with River.”

“Belgrano you are dead.”

I gained a new appreciation for the dedication of the hinchas, and a slight touristic nostalgia for the days of the rivalry. Hopefully River will rise again, and give the policemen a reason to open up the fire hoses.

Risks

I love taking risks. I love to travel to new cities alone, explore, eat in holes-in-the-wall on the off chance I’ll discover a delicious secret. When it comes to the Hasbro “Game of Strategic Conquest”, though, I just can’t be bothered. I am happy with my continent, and really have no Genghis Khan-like impulse to conquer my friends’ territories. The fact that the game lasts for hours or even days does nothing to attract my interest. I usually end the game in a kamikaze move that most other players find so disturbingly enigmatic that it takes several turns for them to dare to kill me off. Since starting graduate school at Berkeley, though, I’ve found that most of my friends are gobsmacked by the game. They become obsessed with it, insisting on kissing, blowing or singing to the dice as they roll to attack neighboring lands. Maybe my love of travel, risky as it can be, and some strong kumbaya tendencies are exactly what keep me from fully enjoying the game.

I learned this past year that, surprising as it may seem, the USA has no monopoly on ludic-imperialist urges. In Buenos Aires I attended a play in the university district that formed part of a cycle of works that were all based on manuals—a gardening handbook, furniture assembly instructions, and the rulebook for a game I’d never hear of called T.E.G. The play I saw was entitled Los pactos (The pacts), and featured a group of characters with no name who suddenly found themselves in a mysterious, foggy realm where they had to roll a die, make pacts with one another, and engage in hostilities in order to pass on to the next, equally mysterious level. The play was entertaining even without the cultural context of having played the game. I began to suspect, however, that I did have some knowledge of T.E.G. when one character, the moderator of the game, named the other characters after territories: Alaska, Labrador, Polonia, and Terranova.  Could T.E.G. be my old, conquerous thorn in the side, Risk?

I resolved to solve the mystery and gain a souvenir after the play. I asked in a toyshop uncertainly: “¿Tienen un juego que se llama…T.E.G.?

The clerk answered immediately and in rapid fire: “Plan Táctico y Estratégico de la Guerra” (Tactical and Strategic War Plan) and pointed to the top shelf of a wall full of games. His assistant scaled a ladder and showed me T.E.G., T.E.G. La revancha (The Revenge), T.E.G. de los Negocios (Business T.E.G.), and T.E.G.: Independencia (Independence). I went with the original, and looked over the box suspiciously. It cost a hefty $160 Argentine—almost $40 USD. This for a game that might very well be a carbon copy of one I already own.

I asked the assistant if he knew of a game called Risk. He hesitated, looked at his boss, and said he might have heard of it. I asked him if it was the same game and he answered, in a beautifully Argentine evasion: “Tengo entendido que tienen sus diferencias.” (From what I understand, they have their differences.)

I bought the game, whose cardboard box promises an “exciting bellic action in which logic, intelligence, and chance intervene” and which has been delighting Argentines since the 1970s (Given the belliferous government that ruled the country during that decade, these liner notes take on a particularly ominous feel). I even had them wrap it as a gift for my Risk-loving husband. We opened it and scoured the rules for anything that might distinguish it from the game of world conquest we know and love (or love to hate). It turned out that this version (I don’t know which came first, and prefer to leave it as a chicken-and-egg provocative mystery) has smoothed out all the kinks that make Risk so, well, risky. How many little brothers have slammed a fist on the board in anger, scattering cannons and cards? How many cousins have quit just when it was getting good after their pact between Brazil and North Africa is betrayed by an evil aunt? In T.E.G., the rules specifically state that pacts must be declared openly and respected. (Another fun difference is the separation of Risk’s monolithic Argentina into two territories: Argentina and Chile.) What is the fun in that? Perhaps it is my cynical approach to the game in which I play for a quick end to the world that appreciates Risk’s anger-inducing rulebook, but I appreciate the bellicose eruptions of familial rivalry that T.E.G. tries to smooth over.

Blanche DuBois in Buenos Aires

Being not just a stranger, but also a foreigner, puts one in an extra-vulnerable position. When it is obvious you don’t know the language, the bus route, or how much a beer should cost, it is easy to be taken advantage of by opportunists.  However, that vulnerability seems to be compensated for by extra support from do-gooders who would, if dealing with their compatriots, be mistaken for meddlers. An example: if, in my native Oklahoma, I were to see a grown man dressed in OU football gear from head to toe grabbing a bottle of KC Masterpiece off the shelf at the grocery store I would silently judge him, but I would not point out the error of his ways. If, however, in place of the Okie, I were to spy a family of Australians looking over the barbecue sauce options I wouldn’t hesitate to point out to them that Head Country sauce, the local pride, beats Texas sauce and the national brands any day.

In Buenos Aires this past June I found myself in the position of foreigner-on-aisle-three. A friend from Berkeley and I had filled our supermarket cart with alfajores (delectable chocolate-covered caramel cookie sandwiches), pastas, provolone and a huge steak. We decided to pick up some chimichurri to top the meat, and were overwhelmed by bottled options and packets of spices. As we discussed our choices in English, we had almost decided on a bottle of the prepared sauce. An Argentine standing near the spaghetti sauce couldn’t help himself and butted in.

“Please, you should get the dried ones in these packets. It is much, much better. Much. Remember to soak the herbs first, then add olive oil.”

He held a blue spice packet out to us, and watched to make sure we put the bottle down. I picked up six more packets—they would make perfectly packable souvenirs. Our condiment counselor nodded in approval then walked away, his work done.

Later that week, distracted by my rush to buy tickets to a play, I left my debit card in the ATM. Before I even realized it I’d covered three blocks speed-walking. At first I ignored the persistent che, che, che, che that seemed to be following me. I was in a university neighborhood and the streets were packed with students, so I brushed the sound off as a good example of just how common the word is in porteña conversations. When I felt a hand on my shoulder to go along with the che-ing, though, I knew it was for me. A young man was waving my bright orange debit card and, without a word, handed it to me. In my surprise and gratitude my Muchas gracias came out thick and gringo-esque–the R was guttural, and my vowels were all out of whack. The accent confirming my foreignness, he merely pointed to his eye with one finger: ojo, watch out. He stretched a fatherly, stern look across his eighteen-year-old face and I, duly chastised, repeated my appreciation. With that he melted back into the crowd, headed back toward the bank.

***

My travel MO is, in general, to try my best not to stick out. In some locales this is easier than others. In the places where I just can’t seem to pull it off, though, the very differences that put me past stranger and into foreigner territory allow for some welcome meddling. Sometimes, the less you fit in, the more some strangers are willing to offer up some kindness.

Reciprocity

This summer I finally crossed the equator—an important step for a Latin Americanist. I headed from Berkeley to Mexico City, my home base for the academic year, and continued to Buenos Aires and Rio de Janeiro for research and language instruction. The endless winter implied by my itinerary made for some interesting packing choices, while the multiple border crossings made for a bureaucratic labyrinth.

The hefty application fee for a Brazilian visa represents that thorn in the student traveler’s side: the Reciprocity Fee. A nonimmigrant US visa costs $140, and that is exactly what it costs a US citizen to apply for a Brazilian visa. The US Department of State explains through press releases that their fee covers the entire process of granting a visa (or not), and that the visa-granting section of Consular Affairs must be self-sustaining. Brazil, however, defines its fee entirely in Hammurabic terms: “This is because the U.S. government charges Brazilian citizens who apply for a U.S. visa a minimum of 2 mandatory fees.”  Olho por olho

Fee paid and visa in hand, I thought that my penance for being a US citizen was complete. Not so fast: I stepped off the plane in Argentina to be siphoned off into a special immigration line. A girl with a smile straight out of a toothpaste commercial informed groggy American, Australian, and Canadian tourists that they could pay 131 USD, 100 USD, or 70 USD, respectively, in cash or credit. I was first in line, and while I was blindsided (my travel guide had conveniently omitted this bit of information), the Brazilian embassy experience had served as an anesthetic, numbing me to the next bloodletting.

The Australians at the next booth were extremely friendly about the matter, but did express their surprise.

“That will be $100,” the entry fee collector announced.

“Oh…” The couple fumbled through purse and wallet and came up with a credit card.

“Each.”

“Oh!” Their eyes opened wide.

“That is how much it costs us when we want to go to your country.”

“Well, this had better be a great place!” the wife exclaimed. Her sentiment somehow came off as sincere belief in value for money rather than a complaint.

Argentina’s chipper, brazen move was in some ways easier to take than the Brazilian policy—no visa required, you only have to pay the fee every 10 years, it’s an on-the-spot credit card swipe—but for these same reasons it seemed even more like a because we can nip at the ankles.

A part of me hurrahs nations that stand up to what could be perceived as unfair, invasive treatment of their citizens, although I have a hard time going along with the self-flagellating Americans populating online travel forums, chiding any compatriot who dares complain about a denied visa. Their desperation for solidarity, championing high fees and rejected applications, seems to defend rather than reject States’ taking advantage of individuals.

A bigger part of me questions the usefulness of these policies for effecting change in US treatment of Brazilian and Argentine citizens—especially since the US already has its own reciprocity rules, disguised as “Visa Issuance Fees”, in place. The whole reciprocity game consists of sovereign states throwing their weight around at the expense of the others’ citizens, and the very borders we citizens are crossing are the ones that keep us from joining together to speak out. Widening the perspective reveals a system of governments allowing each other to effectively tax their citizens, and it’s easy to imagine some winks and nudges hidden among the finger pointing.

Pilates class. Photo from flickr user heraldpost.

1) The Cult of the Personality is a Dangerous, but Effective Tool

My favorite Pilates teacher at the RSF is very popular. She’s so popular that if for some reason she does not appear at class and a substitute is sent in, more than 50% of the class shamelessly gets up, rolls up their mats, and leaves the room in disdain.

She starts off the class with a warning that the style of Pilates we are about to be guided through is a perfected blend of classical moves and scientifically updated exercises. She warns that any other class might cause unalterable damage to our delicate bodies. Throughout the hour she makes snide remarks about yoga, aerobics, and abs & back, letting any doubters know that if they don’t like her way of doing things they are welcome to leave and head to the inferior options.

The problem is that, over the three years I’ve been a disciple of this teacher, she has slowly but surely cut her hours at the RSF. She used to teach three mornings and two afternoons, then cut back to mornings only. This semester she hung us out to dry on Friday mornings, so that we only have two precious hours per week with her. Her indoctrination has been so effective that rather than go to other classes on those days I would rather do nothing, which is definitely counterproductive for my transversus abdominis.

Lesson: Romancing your students a bit with your special expertise can get them hooked on your subject matter—but also on you. Use your powers wisely.

 

2) No Business like Show Business

The same teacher I mention above is not only an extremely knowledgeable and gifted instructor, but also a magnificent showman. She trills her “R’s”, alternatingly sings and barks instructions, and uses her mesmerizing voice to talk us through all 55 minutes of exercise without missing a beat or checking notes. And the memorization of her routines doesn’t imply boring repetition—she switches things up every class, changing orders of exercises or introducing new moves or equipment to keep us on our toes. She can make a crowd of huffing and puffing exercisers giggle mid-abdominal crunch. And her predictions of bone and muscle decay as the aging process takes its toll is enough to make an 18-year-old work even harder to do her future self a favor.

Lesson: No, we’re not there to entertain our students. But since we have a captive audience, we might as well present our subject with panache.

 

3) Energy Begets Energy

I’ve tried Group Cycling classes at the RSF at all hours of the day. I have dragged myself to 6:15AM sessions, snuck in pre-dinner evening classes, and skipped lunch to make a noon meeting. The instructor’s energy level, and their soundtrack selection, is always the deciding factor in whether the sacrifice was worth it. If the instructor seems more exhausted or hung-over than the students at the beginning fo the class, there is a good chance they will end the class by complaining about how lazy and slow the spinners were. If, however, the class starts off speeding to blaring Scissor Sisters tunes and the friendly-yet-sadistic instructor smiles as he screams “Get uncomfortable,” chances are the sweat and compliments will fly, and everyone will leave happy.

Lesson: Your students take cues from you. So grab that extra espresso on your way to class and slap a smile on your face. If all else fails, try playing “Filthy/Gorgeous” before an especially drudging grammar lesson. Your class will thank you.

 

Berkeley classroom. Image by amiz.

My classroom has two large, east-facing windows that magnify the mid-morning sun, and only open about six inches to provide breezy respite from the intensified warmth. This low crack is wide enough to attract curious squirrels, which understandably distract students whose desks butt up to the windowsill where the nosy creatures belly up. It is not, however, wide enough to cool off the room during any of the Bay Area’s rare but intense heat waves. The pale yellow of the walls just adds to the feeling of being trapped inside a rising soufflé, and students and GSI alike fall under melted-butter hypnosis, and focusing on the past perfect subjunctive rises from challenging to impossible on the difficulty scale.

After a few classes of sultry sighs and lackaday during the last hot spell, I walked into an exam review session to a full house. The chatter that had filled the muggy room vaporized as soon as I entered the room, and the students looked at me with wide eyes and held breaths. I looked at my immediately sticky sweater vest and regretted my wardrobe choice. Since I had no new material to teach that day and could probably get away with skipping the chalkboard, I suggested we take the class outside. Read the rest of this entry »

To Err is Traumatic

Exams to grade. Image by olga.

I will never forget the fear I felt the day my most beloved undergrad professor raged about an exam my Latin American Poetry class had taken. Among the errors that provoked his outburst were someone who had repeatedly used the masculine article with the word for woman: “¡El mujer! ¿¡El mujer!?” My cheeks burned, and though I was fairly sure I was not the offender, I still prayed and crossed my fingers that I hadn’t, in some test-induced delirium, forgotten one of the most basic aspects of the language I’d been studying for three years.

He moved on to the word for image, imagen, which made frequent appearances in the literary analysis class. From this berating I did not, unfortunately, escape unscathed. The word is feminine. I had modified it with feminine adjectives in the essay I wrote for the exam; in fact, I got one of the few A’s in the class on the exam. But the trauma of the tongue-lashing has left its mark. I am now in the midst of a PhD program studying Latin American literature, and I avoid using the word imagen in spoken language at all costs. What if I get it wrong? I look it up in the dictionary every time I write it down to reassure myself of its feminine nature. I even checked wordreference.com before typing this paragraph.

I know my professor meant well, and the amount of liberating and inspiring learning my classmates and I did in his classes overwhelms this limiting slip. But the incident exemplifies an important part of the instructor’s work. Balancing constructive criticism, encouragement, praise, and downright disappointment is hard work.

This semester I graded one of the worst exam sets I had ever seen. I went back through looking for ways I might have miscounted, places I might give back points lost, and just couldn’t justify it. In fact, el mujer made several appearances. The grades were low. I tried lecturing my students when I gave back their exams, and gave them a lot of writing homework, hoping the practice would help them improve before the next exam. The class average did improve, but the range was wide, and the low grades were very low.

Further on in the semester I began to worry that I was traumatizing my students when their first compositions came in. Some of them were marvelous, even moving. Others were just unacceptable. After some tears shed in office hours, and mid-semester evaluations complaining that I “grade really hard,” I began to question whether I was holding my students to an impossible standard. However, there are as many As as Ds on the compositions and exams I grade, so I know it’s not impossible. And thankfully, as the semester has progressed, more and more of those straggling students have dragged themselves into my office hours, written several more drafts before turning in final essays, and generally improved not only their grades, but their Spanish and writing skills as well.

What it boils down to is that the same fear instilled in me as a student that day worrying about gender agreement remains with me as an instructor. What if it’s somehow my fault that they didn’t learn the material, didn’t understand the instructions, didn’t realize they needed to study? Do I teach poorly? Do I grade too strictly? The student has become the teacher, but I’m still frightened by the specter of imagen.

Answers

Outdoor discussion section. Image by genista.

When I was about to start teaching English in a Mexican elementary school six years ago a good friend encouraged me: “You’ll be fine—you’re the one with the answer key.” It’s a widely accepted assessment of the teacher-student relationship and, I admit, it’s gotten me out of sticky situations both teaching elementary school and as a GSI at Berkeley. What’s tricky is when the questions have nothing to do with the numbered lists in the back of the book. That’s when standing in front of the classroom, chalk in hand, becomes precarious.

While teaching in Mexico, I developed an elaborate behavior system involving rewards as well as warnings, time-outs, and, when all else failed, a visit to Miss Isa, the school’s director.

One of my students, a sweet boy whom I couldn’t help but favor, but who seemed to be incapable of remaining seated or quiet for more than three minutes, had finally made it to the end of the line: Miss Isa.

Even with a clean slate on Monday, by Tuesday his name was on the board with two checkmarks. As though commanded by a mysterious force, while everyone else busily illustrated their family trees, Erikc wandered across the classroom to play with the stuffed bear peeking out of a classmate’s backpack.

“That’s the fourth time, Erikc. You are going to have to go see Miss Isa.” I hated hardening my sympathies into sternness, but I was at a loss. Read the rest of this entry »

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